Playing the Game

Lest you think that I only make goals for my children, I will let you know that my challenge since the New Year has been to reduce expenses. Something about the paycheck (even though it was very part-time) officially ending, and the adoption expenses kicking into high gear, and the economy being so awful, and so many jobs being lost, etc. I decided it was time to put the brakes on the spending big time. Yes, it is in my nature to be frugal, and by that I mean that even though I can spend with the best of them, it always makes me feel guilty unless I am buying for someone else (yes, kids probably count as someone else). I'm telling you, something is set in my brain to feel massive amounts of guilt if I even look at, for instance, a pair of jeans that cost over $30. Yes, my brain is also stuck in 80s prices. So I guess I would say that I'm NOT frugal, but I do rake myself over the coals for not being frugal.

One thing I've been doing has been asking myself every time I go to purchase something "Do I really, really need this right now?" And that has cut down on impulse Target purchases like Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day decorations. Even though they were on super-discount sale and so cute, and I'm sure my house is empty without them!

The other thing is that I started a thing called The Grocery Game. I had heard it mentioned very favorably from a number of other mothers in the area. I was reluctant, because you do have to pay to play, and you have to do some extra planning. Groceries and planning do not mesh well for me. I finally had settled into a Sunday shop routine, and had started using coupons a lot. I'd been saving about 10-12% of my bill, including Kroger card savings and coupons. That was a big improvement over the days when I was working and would occasionally clip coupons but would never, ever, ever...ever... remember to actually give them to the cashier.

The Grocery Game provides a list of the best prices, when combined with coupons, and they tell you where to find the coupons and basically when to use them. They say there is about a 12-week cycle of things going on sale, and so if you buy everything at just the right time and stockpile enough to last 12 weeks, you'll save huge amounts. Stockpiling - also not a strength of mine. I've never, ever had the urge to buy an extra freezer or even buy anything more than what I need for one week.

I signed up for a free one-month trial, and so far it's going....okay. I am still very disorganized - always flipping through pages of lists and trying to decode the list to see where to find the right coupon, and going to more stores than I ever have before to get the best deals. One particularly harrowing day last week, I had Natalie with me (did I mention harrowing?) and I kept having to backtrack through aisles to find things I'd forgotten, and the coupons were all over the place, and Natalie was in and out of that little car-cart about 200 times because she couldn't decide whether she wanted to ride or walk...ride or walk...ride or walk. I was so fed up and stressed out by the whole experience that I was swearing to myself that I would quit this silly game and just clip coupons the normal way. I got to the checkout and it rang up $108. Yikes! This was my second shop of the week, and I didn't think it would be that big, although I did have numerous "stock-up" items. I was gritting my teeth at that point.

Then the cashier scanned my loyalty card and took my coupons, and ka-ching, ka-ching, the new total was $52! The cashier looked at me and nodded her head in approval, and said "Wow. That's good." And yes. It was. It was good. Kind of like sinking a beautiful putt in an otherwise lousy golf game. Just enough to make me continue, even though it gave me a pounding headache and the urge to pull out all my hair.

No, don't even ask if my dear husband is on board. The man who actually prefers for me to purchase things willy-nilly because it would then lessen his own guilt. He just thinks it's all craziness.

Take that, cat!

Maybe the cat is not so smart after all...take a look at what has taken up residence in our backyard. The yard that the cat roams half the day.

This little guy (now named Running-Field Prince by Liam, who is suddenly interested in naming things) doesn't seem worried by any cat smells. The only thing that worried him, and rightly so, was Natalie screaming in delight and chasing him around in circles until he found the hole under the gate that he uses for his escape.

Spring Break: Mission Accomplished, Part II

Liam's goal for Spring Break (set by me, not him) was to learn to tie his shoes. It's one of the things that has been a reminder from the Kindergarten teacher all year to learn. I know he's not the only one in his class who doesn't know how to tie his. But I also know that the teachers won't tie shoes for the kids anymore, so if they come untied they stay untied all day. Liam would rather have untied shoes than learn how to tie them. He has had NO interest. I bought a book with some practice laces, and I looked up shoe tying online and found some songs to sing while learning. Still NO interest.


So at the beginning of Spring Break I set his goal, along with Natalie's goal of ending the pacifier. I told them if they met their goal by the end of Spring Break they could pick out a toy at Target. After three nights of no pacifier, I took Natalie to Target. She had no idea how thankful I was that she gave up the pacifiers, so she was quite satisfied with a baby My Little Pony. Liam wanted a Lego set (of course). But we hadn't even been practicing the shoe tying. Watching Natalie go through the checkout with that pony did NOT go over well.


I got more sideways looks and glares, and under the breath "that's not fair"s. If looks could kill...I would have been dead before I passed through the sliding glass doors on the way out of Target. And then...the boy came home and tied his shoes on the first try. Zip, zap, zoop. Amazing. He can tie his shoes. I should call the church, because surely a miracle has happened. One day he acts like his fingers are broken and he has no concept of how to loop that lace around his finger, and indeed, insists that the act of shoe tying is completely impossible for a boy his age. The next minute he's tying them with no problem at all. Little bugger. He's probably been able to tie his shoes for the last year, but knew what that would mean in terms of getting himself ready for school in the morning.


He was proud of himself, too. A full five minutes after becoming an official shoe-tyer he confides to me that "there are kids in my class who still can't tie their shoes!" with a roll of his eyes, as if to tell me how infantile some classmates are. Well, maybe they just don't love Legos like Liam.


And yes, I realize it is bribery. Say what you want. Mission Accomplished!!

Spring Break: Mission Accomplished

Ahhh, Spring Break. I can't believe it's over.

This year, we (okay, make that I), decided to set Spring Break goals instead of doing New Year's Resolutions. And the goals were for the kids, not me. Natalie's goal was to stop using pacifiers. Yes, sound the alarms, point your fingers, and talk behind my back. She was still using pacifiers to sleep. Yes, she is old enough to have a conversation peppered with phrases like "It certainly is!" and "Pardon me, I need to use the restroom", can write her own name, and knows the name of every single My Little Pony (and there are seriously about 100), but she still used a pacifier to sleep. It's been our dirty little secret. I'm not too ashamed, because I know exactly how it all started. The first-born was a part-time pacifier user who gave them up easily because he never needed them at night. Liam was a wonderful sleeper...until right about the age of 2...right before Natalie was born. Then Natalie entered the picture...and she was LOUD. Very loud. It was a problem, trying to get the 2.5 yr old with new sleep issues to go to sleep while the very LOUD baby was crying. But, Lo and Behold! she could be very quiet, as long as she had a pacifier! With a pacifier, she turned into a wonderful sleeper - a baby that could sleep 8 hrs a night before she was 2 months old. Heaven...

Fast forward a few years though, and Natalie can still be LOUD. And I still value my sleep (and that of the household). I haven't had the guts to end this arrangement. There was always some excuse...we were going on vacation soon and didn't want to bother other family members...we were going to Russia soon and didn't want an extra burden on Grandma (and this alone drug it out months and months)...the moon isn't aligned quite right. Finally, I looked at the calendar and realized that this is the week. Now or never. Because I know darn well that when Owen comes home and has sleep issues, I will let Natalie keep her beloved pacifiers until she is in college (at which time I would rely on peer pressure to end it for me). Plus, I figured on Spring Break we could afford to be sleepy all week if she screamed for nights on end.

So, back to the Mission Accomplished part of the story: We did it!! Or SHE did it, I should say. It was not nearly as awful as I had imagined all this time. The first night was the worst, of course. There was a good 30-40 minutes of screaming and furious anger. I tried to just cuddle her and give her comfort, because I knew she was having withdrawal symptoms. She just screeched, "Noooooo, I don't want YOUUUUU, I want my pacifiers!!!!" To make matters worse, she was accustomed to using 3 of them...yes three...one in the mouth, and one in each hand. I think the hand motions were just as addictive as the sucking. She would roll that rubber tip around in her hands and it would make a squench, squench sound. So in the midst of her tirade she suddenly stopped screaming, sat straight up, held her hands up and cried, "I need something that squeaks!" I tell you, I searched high and low for something that squeaks. I didn't find much, but she finally seemed satisfied with a chain of those plastic rings that attach to a baby car seat (these were in Owen's room) for baby playtime. They didn't squeak, but the did make a rattly sound.

Night Two was the night of sadness. She asked where her pacifiers had gone, and I told her they went to help newborn babies at night, since she is a big girl now. Her face wrinkled up in complete despair and she wailed, "But I'm NOT a big girl, I'm a baaaaaaaaaby!!!" Oh, it broke my heart. So I sang Rock A Bye Baby, and she liked that. She asked me to sing the alphabet song too, once saying "Z" at the end and once saying "Zed" - per her request.

And Night Three....she hardly mentioned them. Hooray! It's done! Man, if I'd known it would be that easy, I'd have done it years ago. Well, maybe not.

I am so proud of my big girl!

Next post will be about Liam's Spring Break Mission: Shoe Tying.

Kids In Space

Liam thinks he would like to be an astronaut when he grows up. So we went to a museum this weekend and saw a Space exhibit. Maybe someday we'll have a picture of Liam in his real NASA jumpsuit... He really loves this stuff right now.

My favorite part was reading how much of the Int'l Space Station was a joint effort between the US, Canada, and Russia. So all three of our parts come together in space! We got to read about the many Russian astronauts, and about Canada's contribution of the Canadarm, a mechanical arm used on the space station.

Natalie's favorite part was sitting on the space toilet, which had a camera inside it so you can position yourself directly over the...ummm..target.

And The Cat Comes Out On Top

Liam's school had an Open House this week, and we got to take a little peek into the world of Liam via his "journals". There is a journal for writing, one for math, and one for science. It was interesting, to say the least. I was a little surprised at the prominent position that a certain...feline...played in the journal entries. I'm hoping maybe everyone else was writing about their pets, and so Liam copied them and wrote about his as well. Or could he really have such a bond with that cat?? Hmmm...Tigger you may have secured your place in the house for a bit longer...drat that cat! I can hear him laughing now. Maybe I should have been more concerned the last 3 times in the past month that he has escaped and spent the night on the prowl. Once was while Liam was holding open the door too. That would have been bad, if he hadn't come back that night. If anyone should be blamed for the cat going missing, it should be Jim. :-)

The next most prominent thing written about (although to be fair it was a lot harder at the beginning of the year to tell WHAT was being written about) was our trip to Canada. Crismis, Grama, and Granpa, sno mobil, and four wheler were all mentioned several times.

Baby Owen (also known as Bebe Oin) also made the highlights. And Sistr as well.

Meanwhile, on the adoption paperwork front, it seems as if we may be able to get around the TB and HIV tests for the kids with this round of paperwork. I've come to find out from more than one source that most people never did this to begin with! sigh...I am always the obsessive rule follower. It would never have occurred to me to do anything but exactly what was stated on the form. I swear, if they asked, I would also have listed every overdue library book I ever returned late. So nobody can ever tell Liam that he might not have had to get that TB test stuck under his skin last year. Anyway...it's good to know he doesn't have TB or HIV. Right?!

I'm feeling a bit more energetic (or is just the Starbucks?). I have a sneaking suspicion that my fatigue is more than a little bit related to emotions. I'll save it for another post, but let's just say that I have been burying some things deep, and I think they haunt me at night. Like the fact that I left a baby...a sick one even...so far away. I haven't even been letting myself think about it at ALL. And maybe I should.

Trying to Wake Up

Nothing much new to report here. We are back, and working on the new round of paperwork. Due to a new change in US Government requirements (a change! surprise, surprise), we are going to have to get a brand new Homestudy done, even though our last one was dated January 09. I'm immune to paperwork now. Bring it on.

BUT, this round of paperwork includes more medical documents, and I'm trying to determine if the kids have to get TB and HIV tests AGAIN (did that for the Homestudy once already, and slid by the last Homestudy update by not drawing too much attention to the fact that the tests were a year old...). Liam will NOT be happy if he has to have another TB test. Neither will any human being in the doctor's office while it is being administered.

Other than the paperchase...I have been trying to wake up! I was so proud of myself for feeling so energetic during the Russia trip. Then we came home. Ugh. Between jet lag, Daylight Savings time, and the complete and utter loss of the massive amounts of adrenaline that had been pumping through my body, I am comatose.

The house is a mess, and all I can do is wait for Natalie's nap so I can snooze next to her. Zzzzzzzz. Okay, actually, as of yesterday I am starting to feel somewhat normal again. But it has been hard. I'm ashamed to say I have been Cranky Momma lately, especially when it comes to getting out the door for school in the morning, (as in "We need to get going NOW NOW NOW, and so help me, if we are late for school, YOU are going to explain it to your teacher!!"). Anyone know how to get adrenalin pumping again? Maybe I should scare myself...

Amazing Race in Siberia This Week!

Don't forget to watch The Amazing Race this week. They will be going through Siberia. I asked our translator how far away Novosibirsk is from Novokuznetsk, and she said about a 3 hour drive.

Still trying to get back to normal here. Falling asleep in the late afternoon/evening but then waking up at 3am unable to sleep. Not sure if it is jet lag, or just too many things on my mind.

In my effort to post more positive things, I thought I'd make some lists.

Good Things In Russia:

1. Seeing Owen's face for the first time. Even scared and unsure, he was adorable. Jim started to cry.

2. Finding out Owen's feet are ticklish, and hearing him laugh for the first time.

3. Seeing all nine of Owen's teeth when we lifted him high above our heads and he broke into a huge, toothy smile.

4. My boots, though not fashionable by Russian standards, were warm and fairly good on ice. And my winter coat fit right in. No neon-yellow ski coat for me.

5. Russian chocolate. Mmmmm. Jim didn't agree, so it must have been dark (Jim only likes milk chocolate).

6. Russian hot chocolate (OK, this might be the same as above. It was more or less chocolate melted with cream, I think). Very thick. So rich it is served in a tiny cup and sipped with a tiny spoon. For the record, I could have handled a large mug of it.

7. An NCR ATM in the lobby of Hotel Siberia. And we were able to get cash from it. Woo-hoo. Go NCR!

8. Our translator, Olga. She was friendly, beautiful, smart, fluent in 3 languages; aspiring lawyer. And she grew up in the orphanage that Owen is in. She was like an angel. Grandma Helen saw her picture and said she looked like a superhero. I think she was.

9. Meeting 2 other families from our agency on our ride to the airport, coming home. It would have been nice to meet them earlier, but it was still so nice to talk to someone going through the same process. I wish we could travel in large groups like they do in the China program.

10. Seeing a group of kids that looked slightly older than Owen, going on a trek around the orphanage building, since the weather was nice. They were all bundled up from head to toe, and walked very carefully, and they all looked very happy to be outside. I wanted to take a picture, but wasn't sure I was allowed.

11. The mural painted on the wall of the entryway to the orphanage. It was fantastic. It looked like someone had somehow transferred real photos of some of the kid's faces and then painted them into a scene, with the boys as soldiers and the girls in beautiful dresses.

I'm sure there is much more, but I'll pause here. Don't forget to watch The Amazing Race!

Starbucks on Arbat Street in Moscow

Aaaaahhhhhh, Starbucks....they even had an English language newspaper in there. I bought a travel mug with "Russia" on the front, and a picture of a Russian matryoshka doll.

Home Again

A big sigh...home safe.

It was wonderful to see Natalie and Liam again. They were both very sweet. We snuck into their rooms (it was late) when we got home, and Natalie woke up for a second and asked "Did Daddy lose his luggage?" with a big grin on her face, and then she gave us each a big hug. Grandma said she has been playing "airport" a lot, where she stuffs her blankie in a bag and then pretends her luggage has been lost.

Liam made a checklist while we were gone, with little boxes to check when they are complete (yes, he gets his listmaking and checkmark affinity from me). His list included: - Liking the new baby (it was checked already), - Seeing the new baby (which he checked immediately after seeing our pictures), and - Making Owen's room (not yet checked, but he wanted to start on that first thing today). He says he wants to paint palm trees and animals in Owen's room.

Both kids seem to be feeling better. Liam took his antibiotic for strep nicely. Natalie did not. Poor Grandma. She didn't write much in her email about the Dr visit and medicine, but all she had to say was "She is strong!!!" and I knew. I have heard that phrase so many times from nurses/doctors trying to evaluate Natalie. It is the polite Dr way of saying "Holy @#$%! How can a toddler girl turn into the Hulk like that?!" The antibiotics just weren't going down. Like feeding a pill to a cat... Did I mention poor Grandma - what a trooper!

I will attach a few pictures of the Moscow tour. We did enjoy the history lessons and seeing the Kremlin, St. Basil's cathedral (with the onion domes), Lenin's tomb, etc. No, we didn't get to see Lenin - it was closed that day. We did hear that he has 10 different suits that they change him into periodically...which just makes me think that someone out there actually HAS that job. Changing Lenin's suits. I can guarantee they aren't paid enough. I don't have a change of clothes while in Russia, but Lenin still has 10 suits.

Almost Home

We are almost ready to leave Russia. There is another family on our flight home, bringing home a 17 month old boy from Novo. I am curious to see how it goes on the plane for them. Our whole trip I keep imagining having to do this with a new baby, and have to admit it frightens me.

I am not ashamed to admit that this is HARD. The language barrier is very difficult. At least here in Moscow we are near the big tourist street, and yes, we ate at the Hard Rock Cafe last night and we were never so happy to hear that someone spoke English. And this morning we went to Starbucks. Yes, Starbucks. Again, not ashamed of that at all. It was a little tiny oasis of English, and I might just have stayed there all day if we didn't have to leave.

We are missing the kiddos a lot about now, and will owe Grandma big time. Sounds like Liam, and maybe Natalie got strep while we were gone.
We will post pictures (although probably can't post Owen pics until after Court) when we are home and not paying for internet minutes. I can feel my time running out as I type.

Novokuznetsk

We are in Novokuznetsk, and are a bit technologically challenged. In a bit of bad packing strategy we left all of our voltage converters and plug adapters in the packed bags, so it has been like watching our communications die a slow death. Right now using a laptop in the hotel, but it is not easy. Luckily our translater, Olga, is extremely nice and helpful.

We have finally met our Owen, and he is even more adorable in person. He is not quite sure what to think about us yet. They say he is somewhat shy and reserved and likes to observe things (exactly like his siblings) and is wary of strangers. It has been very hard to get a smile, but the few we got were beautiful. He has the longest, dark eyelashes and beautiful blue eyes. We must have bored him so much, because he actually fell asleep in our arms on both visits. They say that he recently changed schedules to not take a morning nap, and the room we meet in is very warm.

I will try to write more on our day back in Moscow. All is well, and we go back later today to try and elicit one or two more smiles.