Home Almost 3 Weeks

Happy faces. We like to see happy faces.

People think my skin tone fits right into our family. Hey, at least I have an excuse - living in Siberia all my life. Why are the rest of them so pasty white?

Doing "the bob".

I can't believe tomorrow we will have been home 3 weeks. In some ways it has flown by, and in other ways I've felt every minute. I think things are settling down somewhat. Owen is settling down somewhat. He still doesn't really sit (and I'm thinking this may be a permanent condition, not just an adjustment issue) and is always on the go. "He's a goer" tends to be a common phrase used when people meet him. But his distressed/agitated periods are definitely less. He actually let me brush my teeth this week without screaming like a crazy man. Something about personal hygiene drives him crazy... I think it has something to do with me rebuffing his pleas to be held at right.that.moment, and that kind of sets him down a frantic and noisy path. But there has been some progress...

Natalie, the poor dear, has had some bad days. It almost seems that the better Owen does, the worse Natalie does to make up for it. At any point during the day she is either 1) yelling at Owen to cease, desist, or never go near something ever again, or 2) yelling at me to watch Owen, because I'm apparently not doing it well enough (for example, if I'm trying to put something in a hot oven and I can't pick up Owen at right.that.moment, he will be screaming, and Natalie, dear thing, will stand right next to him, screaming even louder "MOOOOOOOM, HE WAAAAAANTS YOU!", just in case I hadn't noticed that fact. Or, 3) she is crying, "Mom, I waaaaant you!" as if I am still in Siberia, with no plans on returning home. And sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I was.

Liam...I think has disappeared with the Nintendo DS never to be found again. Jim only wishes he could do the same.

Then there are moments when we feel almost calm, and almost settled. And then we wake up. It seems sort of like one day up and one day down.

In other news, Liam (and coach Jim) had the end of season t-ball party, which was delayed so that we could get home from Russia. Everyone had a good time. It was a pool party, so Liam swam around like a fish. Natalie we gave up on with swimming this summer (she is apparently too traumatized to consider doing something so silly), so we put a huge industrial-strength life vest on her and let her float around to her heart's content. Unfortunately, she now thinks she can swim. I spent the entire night trying to keep Owen in just the wading area of the pool. I probably should have just put a huge life vest on him and let him bob, because it was exhausting work corraling him. He does love the water. There was a fountain thing in the wading area, and he would go stick his entire head right above it, and then pull his head away and blink the water out of his eyes, then do it again. He also did a header right into the tub tonight AFTER his bath was over and I was trying to get Liam and Natalie clean. Natalie kept saying "He didn't even cry, did he Mom?" No, he didn't. I think he actually intended to catapult over the side of the tub and land with his head on the bottom, underneath the water. He knew I would just pull him out again, anyway. And I have learned NOT to put on the PJs until ALL baths are done for just this reason. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice...

I am dying to update my header picture with a shot of all 3 kids, but there are 2 members of that trio that don't really smile when they are next to each other. For a split second today I thought I could get a shot, but half a second later, it was World War III. So maybe I'll have a new family photo in another three years or so.

Meanwhile, every day we get a little more used to being a family. And a day closer to school. :-)

Pretty Princess

I can go from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds, climb the highest peaks, throw footballs or any other ball-shaped object, play tackle football with 6 yr olds (tip: hang onto their shirt tails until they trip and then you can pounce), fight angry, spitting felines.

In my down time, however, I like to listen to 80's dance music, ABBA, and wear princess tiaras.

Side note from Mom: I am amazed that he was able to keep this tiara on his head. Just yesterday Natalie emphatically declared that she was "going to have to throw these toys away now!" just because Owen dared to touch them. Yet even Natalie could not resist this. Owen found the tiara, put it on his head, and strutted around with his chest puffed out, trying to look at himself in any reflective surfaces (like the dishwasher door). Natalie tried not to smile, but it was there. And she didn't rip it from his head OR declare she would have to throw it away. Progress?

Things I'm Thankful For

In no particular order...

• Several family dinners where we felt kind of "normal". Just five people sitting and eating (and throwing a good bit of food on the floor). aaahhhh
• The fact that me not cooking is actually considered a perk to Jim. He's in heaven getting take-out or just rotisserie chicken from the grocery.
• Nap times for Owen. So glad he still naps.
• ABBA music soothes the savage beast. (Discovered that on Jim's iPod...ahem...) Nothing like swaying to Chiquitita to make the tears stop (those would be mine...but it also makes Owen's screams stop).
• Natalie can still draw her self-portrait smiling.
• Crayolas are non-toxic (not related to the above, but to the new little person).
• Tigger is apparently not as mean as I always tell people. I've pretty much reached the point of "OK, cat, show him what you can do!" and Tigger just looks miserable and hunkers down or swats futilely with his de-clawed front paws while looking at me like "Woman, what have you done! What have you done!" sigh....
• Orphanage music class. The hand motions and dance moves are very cute. The boy seriously loves music.
• Liam's response of "As long as this doesn't have anything to do with salad..." when I tried to start a family talk with, "I would like you all to try something for me..." (I was going to ask that we all treat each other extra lovingly right now - it did NOT have anything to do with salad).
• My husband, for doing more picking up, cleaning, kid watching, and telling me to go to bed because I'm just tired, than he ever has before.

One Week Home

Can you tell they didn't feed me at the baby home? Oh, wait, I forgot, I was eating everyone else's food!

Some alternate titles that I was thinking of using for this post...."And Reality Sets In", or "Is the Summer Over Yet, and When Does School Start?", or "And I Thought The Trip Was Hard" or "I See a Monkey Backback with a Leash on it In Your Future".

ha ha

I have been debating whether to post or not, because I generally try to post when I have my sense of humor, and it has been lacking lately. But today was a pretty decent day, so I'll give it a try.

Things are going fine. We are a family in transition. The hardest hit is probably Natalie (I would claim the spot myself, but since I'm the adult, I'll give her the title). Poor Natalie, who was Queen of the Castle and a 24 hr a day momma's girl. To the bottom of her sweet little heart she wanted Owen to come home. But she didn't realize what it/he would be like. To be honest, I think I forgot also what a 19 m.o. would be like. Natalie now bears the mark of all 9+ teeth in Owen's mouth...on her back. She has asked several times if we are sure he is going to be here forever. Oh yes, and that picture from the first morning when both of the older two wanted to sit right next to Owen for breakfast. You will never see a picture like that again. Now they want to sit far away...at least as far as 19 month old arms can reach, and a good two feet extra.

Owen actually seems to be doing pretty well. He seems to be on his way to bonding with me quite well, although he has taken over Natalie's title of Velcro Baby (MUCH to her dismay). I have to say, however, that our dear translator, Olga, who described Owen as "shy, reserved, and more of a watcher" may not have ever visited Baby Home #95. For it seems to be that Owen may have been King of the Orphanage. He blew through here like a Category 5 hurricane. And he is a man with no fear. Especially no fear of falling. He will climb on anything and turn to dive or step off of it, no matter how high. I am going to have totally white hair soon. We took him to the mall play area (I know, so soon! but the tension in the house was rising), and he had the biggest grin on his face...as he blew through the place, pushing big kids out of his way, terrorizing children, and climbing to the highest point and attempting to dive off. The good news is, that Jim may have his hockey player. Even if he ends up pint-sized, I think this one will be a tough one.

That said...we have had our sweet moments. Owen likes to gently pat my cheeks and do little kisses and then he touches my nose with his finger and smiles. He does have gentle eyes and a sweet smile (which is different from the crazed smile that shows all his teeth). I am beginning to realize that the crazy look comes out when he's tired, and also that wide open spaces seem to rev him up. It's like that hamster in the ball in the movie Bolt, who when released, shouts "I've never felt so FREEEEEEE!" I'm sure wide open spaces and the ability to run like crazy probably weren't typical orphanage days. When he is strapped into a highchair or stroller he is perfectly docile and quite polite and pleasant. If only I could wheel him around in that stroller everywhere. (Kidding) He is eating like CRAZY, though not in a hoarding, frantic sort of way. He eats more than Natalie and Liam combined right now. He trys to say Ball (his favorite toy), and More, and constantly says Papa (with the emphasis on the last syllable which makes him sound French, and oh so cute..PaPA!). He does NOT like the cat, and went from being scared of him to trying to hunt him down and hit him with things. Tigger is not a cat to be hunted down, so I expect an ER visit soon. He also loves bath now (hated it in Moscow), and the pool, or sprinkler. He loves his monkey backback with a leash, but we really haven't used it yet so he doesn't know the intent of that leash.

Grandma and Grandpa left several days ago, so I've had my first 3 days with Jim working and me home with the three. I cried when the grandparents left. 90% because I will miss them, and grew used to having them here. 10% because I was afraid to be left alone.

So all is good. Especially when they are all three sleeping. :-) Which reminds me - no time to blog - I need to sleep before one of them wakes up early.

God Bless America

Maybe a little late, since the 4th of July is over, but I just wanted to say God Bless America!!

Yes, I cried a little when the plane touched down and we were almost home. I'm not sure if the tears were of joy at bringing Owen home, relief that the trip was over, or pain from my back and neck after trying to sleep in a pretzel-position with a 19 month old on top of me. Probably a little of everything. Jim can't handle tears, and kept asking what was wrong. I just didn't even have words.

The flights and airport shuttling, etc., actually could have been a lot worse. Owen didn't really cry all that much. It was just hard to sleep, for all of us, and it seemed to last an eternity. It really is pretty much 24 hours of travel. Plus, we had several clothes changes (for Owen, anyway - I didn't bring a change of pants in my carry-on because I had it stuffed with his things) after a sippy cup juice incident, and a wet-through the diaper incident. He had one completely new outfit, we had a bag of dirty diapers, and my pants reeked of urine....and then the plane pulled out of the Moscow airport. :-) Looooong trip. Luckily, none of the ever-present diarrhea the whole trip - I know for sure we lucked out there.

The kids stayed up late for our arrival, and were SO excited to meet him. Natalie kept hopping on one foot and saying "He's so cute! He's wonderful!" And Liam just kept following him around with big eyes, saying "Oh my gosh! Look at him!" It was very sweet.

The bloom may be off the rose this morning, however, as Owen has asserted himself as a 19 month old toddler who can fling toys and push other kids, and generally act like a linebacker in a miniature body. ha ha I am a little bit jealous of those adoptive mothers who can bring home babies who can't yet walk. Still...he seems like such a typical toddler, albeit one who won't be pushed around, that I can't complain.

There is no doubt about it - our family is full, and complete, and we're happy.

Embassy Interview Done

Our final check point before returning home is done! The "interview" at the US Embassy. It was fine. The man was very nice. He asked how our trip had been, and if we had any problems in the country or during court. He seemed to ask very gently, like he is used to parents being totally burned out by now.

Owen, the boy who would not make eye contact or smile or play or interact at all during any of our previous trips, was making the rounds of the "waiting room". Smiling and hugging everyone. It was very cute. At first. But our interview was right smack in the middle of what should have been nap time, and so his extreme friendliness kind of degenerated into a frenzied running around with hysterical laughter and squeals. ha ha The good news is that there are quite a few adoptive families out there today telling themselves "Well at least our kid wasn't crazed like that one boy..." The family we've been traveling with couldn't believe that this was the kid who wouldn't interact. I think perhaps being in a room full of people who smiled back and laughed at him was too much for him to take. It was like he was thinking, "They Loooooove me! They loooove me! Look at that, they loooove me!"

Our Good Will Ambassador

Owen seems to be doing very well bonding with us. I am the one he is stuck to like glue, but he is warming up to Jim as well. He now knows how to do "cheers" with his sippy cup, and give high fives, thanks to Jim.

Aside from being thrilled that he is doing so well, Jim and I are just...I think the best word would be drained. Mentally and physically exhausted. It rained for a day and a half, and being stuck in a tiny hotel room with about 4 toys that we've played with forever, was making us go stir crazy. Finally, the rain stopped for a while and we did get out for some walks, and out to eat.

Owen apparently was not taught in the orphanage that you don't look anyone in the eye or wave at strangers. It's just not a Russian thing to do. Jim and I are so over that now, and the unfriendly vibe doesn't bother us like it did at first. But Owen...oh Owen...in his little red stroller...is waving at everyone he meets. In restaurants, on the street. He is out there trying to work the crowds. For the most part, he is ignored on the streets. But in restaurants, it is harder. He has actually made some Russians smile and wave. And in restaurants with non-Russians, oh my gosh. At the Hard Rock Cafe he had the whole room waving back at him, and one woman (from Greece) came over and asked if she could hold him, and then proceeded to take him back to her table to show him off. He didn't last too long being that far away from us, but then proceeded to flirt with her the rest of the meal across the room.

The best part though, was at McDonald's (can you tell our eating habits yet?). A lone Russian man, probably in his 50s, sat next to us. Owen waved and pointed to the man's fries. So the man gave him one, over our protests. This led to a whole meal of Owen waving at the man and grunting for more fries. And finally, this Russian man tried to talk to us in Russian, and when we said we only speak English, he told us, "A boy like that - life will be easy." Then as Owen wanted more food, he laughed and said, "He is Russian at heart!" We just smiled and nodded. Then this man seemed to realize why we were here, and he asked, "Was he born here?" We said yes, and he just said, "Oh. I see." He remained friendly, and waved goodbye when we left. I am probably imagining things, but he seemed perhaps a little sad. I would be sad too, to see such a handsome, friendly, smart little boy leave the country.

I keep saying, just wait until you are in the US, Owen, you will be able to charm everyone you meet.

Some Pictures!

The family at 5am, before leaving Novokuznetsk. Owen is my clingy monkey. I thought Natalie could be clingy, but Owen takes it to a whole new level.

Yeah, I can be bribed by Cheerios. Or any food, actually.

Look at that sexy Russian body! I'm too sexy for my diaper...too sexy for my diaper...

The boys on the plane, getting ready for take-off.

No, Mom, not the ticklish armpit trick!!

Need to Pick New Blog Name!!

Well, we are five! I guess I'll have to change the name of the blog soon!

It is hard to believe it. All we have left is the US Embassy stuff in Moscow. Unfortunately, all of the US gov't offices are closed on July 3rd for the holiday. But we are totally done in Novokuznetsk, and are now hunkered down in Moscow getting to know each other.

Owen is doing so well, I can't believe it. He has such a personality! I have to admit, I was worried (I know, I'm always worried about something), because he never showed us a smile or anything much other than a blank look and a glare. Even the night before we went to pick him up, we ate with another couple adopting a 2 yr old boy, and they showed us pictures from their visits with him. He was all smiles and laughs - at least some of the time. I sat there thinking, oh no, Owen has never smiled at us at all.

When we picked him up he was crying so hard that the orphanage Director held him for a while trying to calm him down. She told us not to even change him into the clothes we brought, because he was too upset (and I've NEVER heard of them doing that before). Since he was at the summer camp, the caretakers come in shifts of several days at a time and it just so happened a shift change was happening. So one of his caretakers (who was incredibly nice - we remembered her being so nice on our last trip too) rode with us in the van back into Novo. So when we left the home, we didn't even carry him. His caretaker held him in the van for a while and then stood him up on the back seat next to me, and he watched the summer camp and the hills out the back of the van window. It was like he was saying goodbye to it all. She talked to him in Russian and I talked to him in English and held his hand, and eventually she put him on my lap and he fell asleep. We dropped her off in town, and so when he woke up she was gone, but he didn't cry anymore.

The most amazing part was that once we got back to the room and were alone, he was a different baby. He was relaxed and smiley and funny! He loved all the mirrors, and would play peek-a-boo with himself and just smile and show off. I think he knows he is cute. He explored everything, and I realized how much babyproofing I still need to do at home. He loves kisses blown on his belly, and is very ticklish. His smiles are so beautiful, and huge. And the biggest smile of all is when I tell him No or Nyet because he is getting into something. Then he gets a wicked smile that goes from ear to ear. His first word is Papa! We looked through the family photo album we had left, and everytime he saw Jim he said Papa! So they must have gone through it with him.

Anyway, I'll write more and post pictures later. I'm sure this is costing me an arm and a leg in the Business Center. But he is doing great, and we just all want to be home.

Happy 4th of July! Owen will be wearing his USA t-shirt. Oh, and happy belated Canada Day! He wore all Roots clothing today in honor of that.
Obama will be in Moscow on the 6th through 8th, so maybe we will see him. It just better now mess up our Embassy apptmt or we will have to tell him to go home.
More from the Family of Five later....