The Beast Among Us

Yes, the beast among us is a tomato plant. The boy hiding behind it is wonderful, by the way.

The state of the garden...well it is a sorry state. Okay, I haven't really done anything more than water it and pull an occasional weed. But truly, I thought it would produce more than this. This gigantic, ugly, too-heavy-to-even-be-staked-up tomato plant has produced exactly ONE - count it - ONE tomato. One! I forgot to pick it, and it withered up like a raisin. And the plant has been punishing me ever since by refusing to produce any more! It just keeps growing like a virus. Perhaps it can feel my nasty feelings toward it and that is why it is barren? I don't know. In any case, it is the last picture you will see of it, because I pulled it out. (Not the easiest thing in the world - it may not have had fruit but it sure had some strong roots!) I feel slightly guilty, but I only have so much nurturing to go around, and I think it was so big that it was making the peppers next to it angry, because I have only had about 4 jalapenos all year too. Tons of little flowers, but only 4 peppers! What is WRONG with my gardening?! I definitely have a black thumb. Oh yes, and I kept waiting and waiting for the asparagus to mature, and I'm pretty sure that it has gone to seed now. But it never got big enough to pull, or at least it didn't appear to be big enough. So much for subsistence farming. My family would be awfully thin if we had to depend on this poor little plot of land. Mind you, I'm sure it is 100% my fault. Well, maybe 1% was the cat who fertilized it furiously in the early months...

I sure am hoping I am doing a better job with my children than my garden. Time will tell, I suppose. And I don't think I will rate their success on how much they reproduce.