Lucky Seven!

I realized that I never did a birthday post for my Halloween baby!  It seems impossible that she is seven.    How is that really possible??

Of all the things that she received for her birthday, one of her favorites was a "splat ball" from one of the mall kiosks.  It's just a squishy ball that you throw to the ground and it flattens out, and then it bounces back into it's original shape. She loves kitschy little things like that, and had asked for one for ages.  I hate to spend money on kitschy little things like that, but in this case it did make me smile to see how much she loved it.

Another big event that I haven't blogged about is our impending move.  After being here for almost six years, we are moving cross-country for a job opportunity for Jim.  It's all good, but I think the knowing about the move yet waiting for the house to sell has taken a toll on my emotional girl.  She is quite good at trying to explain complex feelings though, and she told me the other night, "I just want to move right now."  I reminded her that earlier in the day she had told me she DIDN'T want to move, and she explained, "I know!  I don't really want to move.  But I'd rather do it right now!"  I agree, too.  The awkward in between phase is so hard.

Natalie remains my emotional, bubbly, dramatic, fun girl.  She can seem absurdly mature at times, as she waxes philosophical on something, and then the next minute she will seem adorably young.  Her reading has taken off like crazy, and now she is raiding Liam's room for books.  She is getting spelling lists from school, and has realized that we haven't corrected her spelling in all of her "notes" to us.  I think she is a little perturbed by that.  She had the word "want" on a list the other day, and she exclaimed, "But I've always spelled it w-u-n-t!" and seemed dismayed.  Maybe I should have been correcting her more than I have, but I guess I took it to heart in Kinder when the teacher says not to over-correct spelling because they want to encourage them to write.  Still, I feel a little bad about it because I think she is a lot like me that way, and I would not like to discover I'd been spelling things wrong.

I love Natalie's zest for life, and spunk.  She is definitely trying to figure out who she wants to be, and I can't wait to find out.  Gone are the days of "everything princesses," and now she considers herself more of a reader, a video gamer, a cartwheeling dancer.

She learned during a recent school fundraising Fun Run that she should be exercising an hour a day, and she has been taking it very seriously.  She was out running laps around the back yard the other day for the longest time, stopping to record them with tick marks in her notebook.  When she finally stopped, she had recorded 94 laps.  So she and I went to the nearby track to run/walk together, and had a great time.  She didn't stop talking the entire time, and pretended that we were in a Mario Kart race.  Everytime her lane had a painted arrow (I'm not sure why they have those...), she would bounce back and run backward a few strides, and then start forward again.  So, it wasn't the fastest run I've had.  But it was fun.  Then she got distracted by the sand pit that they use for the long jump.  She dug all around on her hands and knees, just like she would have been she was just a toddler in a sandbox.  She told me I could run a few laps without her while she dug.  Is it wrong of me to wish that she will always remain this way - eager to run next to me, but not afraid to stop and play in the sand?  My sweet seven year old.

Happy Halloween!

It all seemed very last-minute and thrown together this year:  the purchasing of the pumpkins, the carving, the costumes, even preparing for Natalie's birthday.  But we got it done, had a great time with Grandma visiting, and I think the kids enjoyed themselves.

Little Mr. Big Man

 Owen at a hockey game, being carried by the team mascot.  Of course he was.

 Owen and Mommy in the photo booth at Main Event during the week that brother and sister started school, but Owen's preschool had not yet started.  That is always a fun week of Mommy and Owen time.  He loves the arcade game where we shoot pirates together (he's quite the marksman), and air hockey.

 Meet The Teacher day at preschool.  Enjoying the toys already.

Spiky hair - I love my spiky hair!

Little Mr. Big Man.  The biggest personality in the smallest body.  Owen has a way of getting in the middle of ANYthing and EVERYthing.  I know it sometimes bugs his siblings, this way he has of gaining favor and getting things from people.  He is a master of charming people in order to benefit himself.  As a mother, I can see the value in it - I know he will always find a way to get by in life.  If he had been my sibling...well, I can certainly understand how it could rub a person the wrong way.

I have lost track of all the things he has been given in stores, restaurants, everywhere.  There was a Mexican restaurant we frequented when he first came home, and a certain waitress there would always spot him and come running over to either 1) offer him ice cream (& no she didn't offer the other 2!), or 2) apologize for not having ice cream.  I think all that started when he was barely talking and he asked her for a treat.  At Main Event once a girl let him pick a treat out for free (in the area where they are supposed to use the "points" they earned at the arcade games) if he would just wink and give her a thumbs up like he did to someone else.  The list goes on and on.  The good part for me is that I generally hate talking to strangers or asking for things, so I can use him for that.  If any of the kids gets a toy at McDonalds and they whine to me that it is something they don't like or already have, Owen will go ask at the counter for an alternate toy.  I always thought they just had one toy choice per week, but I've seen the Latina ladies behind the counter giggling over him, and taking 10 minutes to go in the back and find something else.  Even his siblings can appreciate this, because my response would normally be "You get what you get." but if Owen is willing to bargain, I'm okay with that.  What can I say - he has a gift.  So when he went to a hockey game with Jim the other night for a baseball teammate's birthday, did it surprise me at all to get a text of Owen being carried around by the mascot?  No, it did not.  Sometimes I want to tuck him under my arm and carry him around, myself.

He Loved Me Best

During my summer blog hiatus we lost a furry member of the family.  Mostly in the blog I used Tigger to add a little humor, because he was...well...kind of a cranky old sourpuss.  He was never really the kind of cat that inspired, um, devotion.  He was a bully to my sweet old cat, Rita, and pretty much kept her hiding in a closet for years until her death.  He could get lovey, but even that was unfortunate due to an issue with excessive drooling triggered by happiness.  Getting slimed sort of puts a damper on snuggling.

Once the kids came along...he wasn't always mean...but he was never one to run and hide.  He preferred to sit in close proximity, giving off warning tail swishes, and possibly even flash a little belly to tempt little people into petting him, and then bite them when they did.  Still, they (and I) forgave him.  He was like a cranky old man living in the house; occasionally funny, sweet every so often, but mostly just obnoxious and intent on getting his own needs met.  So, when kidney issues arose (enough said) and the house was in danger of becoming a giant litter box, I hesitated only a bit before making the Big Decision.  It was time.  He was old.  He was getting super sneaky about finding places to tinkle.  I am old.  I was tired of watching him every second, and cleaning urine.

So WHY was I a basket case when the deed was done??  Could be because Tigger had a passionate hatred for vets (that manifested itself coincidentally at the same time he was declawed as a kitten), and went down fighting like I knew he would.  Not pretty.  But I think, more than that, it was because he loved me best.

His personal skills with humans, or animals for that matter, were minimal at best, but I could always count on the fact that Tigger wanted my attention every.single.night.  When the kids were younger and had sleep issues, I would sometimes sit outside their bedrooms, ready to walk them back to bed multiple times (good lord, I don't miss those days).  Tigger was in heaven - it was his own personal massage time, as I tried to keep him from meowing too much and waking up the babies even more.  Every night on the couch in front of the tv, he would come to my lap for his snuggles, whether I felt like snuggling or not.  I literally could not even push him off my lap when it was "his time."  The kids sometimes asked why Tigger liked me so much (it wasn't like I was all that nice to him, after all, especially post-kids), and why he followed me everywhere.  I remember back to picking him up in a mall parking lot as a tiny kitten, scared, loud, demanding attention.  He kept me up the entire night trying to suckle milk from my ear lobes.  He thought I was his mother.  He was stubborn, testy, and obnoxious, but he.loved.me.best.  I was his one and only person.  His mother-person.  And perhaps that is all it really takes to forge that bond of love.  I loved him because he loved me best.  Or at least, he wanted only me, he needed only me, and isn't that a huge part of what we think of as love.

For the kids, it was a life lesson, for sure.  Natalie has had her own style of pillow pounding, hair pulling, yelling kind of grief.  Liam's is more of a grief drawn inward, unsure whether to share it or not.  Walking by his room one night I heard a mournful keening that broke my heart.  But it allowed me to provide my big 9 yr old boy some comfort, and that was nice.  Liam let me stretch out alongside him, hug him tight, and just hold him while he cried.  Bittersweet.  Owen...well, Owen was never much a Tigger fan.  He tolerated him, but never trusted him (smart).  The picture above makes me laugh, because Owen's body language says it all:  "Eww, ewww, those paws, those teeth, I think he might just touch me!" Owen has been able to turn Tigger's passing into a great sympathy ploy, however.  Always one to make conversation, now if he can't think of anything else to say to someone, he'll throw out this zinger, "My cat died.  His name was Tigger.  He's dead!"  He is going to work that sympathy angle for quite some time.

RIP, Tigger.  And thank you for loving me best.

My Girl

So instead of playing catch up, I'm going to just jump right back into this Blogging thing.  It's been too long!

It's been so long, in fact, that my baby girl has a birthday approaching soon.  She tells me that she does not want to turn seven.  She does not want to grow up.  She wants to live with me forever.  (At least, that is what she tells me when she's not feeling emotional and stomping upstairs declaring that NO ONE even LIKES her!)

I think I agree with her sentiments about growing up.  I am kicking and screaming, dragging my feet, and holding onto my world by my fingertips, trying to slow down time.  For now, I console myself with a few Natalie-isms that still linger.

Natalie still calls grilled cheese "Girl Cheese".  She loves her Girl Cheese sandwiches!  I can tell phrases like this will soon be gone, as she is learning to spell.  She asked me the other day how to spell Girl Cheese, and I saw the flicker of comprehension as she realized it was Grilled and not Girl.  Always stubborn, she told me that she KNOWS it's not Girl Cheese but she likes to say it that way anyway.  You go, Girl!  I am hoping she doesn't ask how to spell Taste Bugs.  As in, "Now that I'm almost seven, I think that my Taste Bugs may change and I'll like to eat different things."

As part of the aging process, it's inevitable that she will notice boys.  Still, I think her favorite boy will be Liam for quite a few more years.  No one can make her laugh like Liam.  Though there is one boy in her First Grade class that she has mentioned a few times now...She thinks he is "nice."  She may even decide to invite him (a first - inviting a boy!) to sit at the special Parent table with us the next time I eat lunch with her at school.  Part of the attraction, apparently, is that he knows some of the video games that she likes (thanks to Liam).  Natalie is crazy about Minecraft, which they play on the iPad.  Most of the kids in First Grade aren't into it yet, but it's big for kids Liam's age.  Since Natalie and Liam are joined at the hip, her tastes run more toward 4th Grade games.  (Let's not even talk about Owen's tastes, with 2 older siblings...)  So Natalie tried to explain to me the other day her difficulty in relating to most of the First Graders, and she mentioned liking this particular boy who understands some of her video games.  She told me, "Mom, I really want a boy who knows what I know.  Do you know what I mean? Haven't you ever wanted a man who knows what you know??"  Uhmmmm...yes, that's why I married your father, dear.  I think I will take it as good news that she is looking for a boy as smart as herself, and not just a dumb one.  I wonder if there will ever be one as smart as Liam in her mind.  No football players need apply (and I kid, because I can see Owen playing football, and the boy is too smart for his own good).

There is a chance that she will find a boy with better dental hygiene than Liam.  At the dentist last week they found three cavities in Liam's teeth.  My rant about the cost to fix those cavities apparently made an impression on someone.  Last Friday was a Show and Tell day in Natalie's class, and since she hadn't brought anything in to show, she was allowed to tell something interesting to the class.  She told them that her brother has THREE cavities and it's going to cost FOUR HUNDRED dollars to fix them!  So now I fully expect that the kids in her class take this to heart and start brushing their teeth better!  I wish someone had frightened Liam with the fiscal responsibility of good dental hygiene when he was in First Grade!!
Ahhh, gotta love my Natalie.

Bye Bye Summer!

I promise to post more soon!  Working hard to revive my blogging mojo.

Bravery

The summer has been busy so far.  And that is good.  Less time spent in the house arguing, the better.  Natalie ended her dance year with the annual recital.  Grandma Helen was able to visit and see the recital in person, which was wonderful!  Once again, I was so happy to see Natalie get out there and dance her heart out.  She still struggles with shyness at times, especially when it is an adult speaking directly to her, but somehow being on stage dancing is different.  She shows such energy and enthusiasm!  I am once again awed by her bravery - being able to get on a very large stage in front of a very large crowd of people and dance.  I'm quite sure that if I ever made it onto the stage (doubtful) that I would forget every move out of sheer panic.  Bravo, to my little dancer!  We did have some sad faces after the dance was done, because Natalie apparently had not been able to see us in the audience (we had moved our seats to be closer to the stage), and then didn't immediately see us when they released the dancers back to the parents (we were there - it was just crowded).  That made me sad, that she could really think we would have left.  Hopefully she believes me now that we would never, ever have left.  It seems my biological child has a fear of abandonment too.

Liam has also shown his bravery this summer.  He was injured in the backyard.  Let's see...how to say this without assigning blame...he was with a parental figure other than myself...and it involved a power tool falling onto his head from a high spot.  Enough said.  Safety lessons were learned, and everyone is OK.  I was amazed at how composed Liam was, even though blood was running down his face, into his eyes.  (I did a pretty good job keeping calm too, as that is not one of my strengths.)  I took him to the Urgent Care just because the cut was on his forehead and it wasn't closing very well, so I thought he might need stitches.  Turns out they could just glue him back together with DermaBond.  He was so relieved!  But I took notice of how calm he was, even while knowing stitches were a possibility.  This is the boy who used to get so worked up over annual vaccinations that he would practically hyperventilate.  My boy is growing up.

Liam also showed once again that he is not afraid of heights.  He wanted to try the "rope course" at the local bowling/laser tag place.  I thought that he and Natalie could both give it a try, but once we got there and saw how high it was and how thin some of the ropes were, Natalie gave it a pass.  In fact, several older kids also got up there and decided they couldn't do it.  Liam jumped right on and climbed like a pro, with that little tongue stuck out the side of his mouth in concentration.  Bravo, my brave rope and rock climber!  I can see you as my future astronaut now, with no fear of heights or speed.

Poor Man's Pool

Summer

Let the Summer circus begin!!  (Ready or not.)

Colorful

Trying to learn my new camera, and take advantage of some early evening light out in the front yard with the younger two playing.  I like the pictures, but it is a little bittersweet because I just spent quite a while perusing my pictures from the last year to find a dozen or so to attach to our post-placement report for Russia.  (Three years in June - can it really be?)  I think this may be the last report that has to be sent back to Russia to give them an update on Owen.  I will miss it (though not the cost), because I love to pick out my favorite shots and hope that someone back in his orphanage will remember him and smile to know he is happy.  I have heard that the pictures and reports really do make it back to the orphanage, and they do look at them.  I hope so.  Anyway, the bittersweet part is that when I pulled up pictures from last summer I realized how much all of the kids have grown and changed, and that always makes me want to slow down time.  As much as I love their more grown up appearances now, my heart hurts a little when I see the baby looks that they've lost in a year.  Getting teary...

Where Are We?

It's not quite summer yet, but we are practicing for vacation.  Can you guess where the "beach" pictures were taken?  Liam wasn't there for that outing, but the two littles had such a grand time.  Look at Owen making a "sand angel" in the background of the one shot.  I hadn't really planned on giving baths that night...but they had so much fun in the sand.  I took the pictures on my phone and Jim really thought we had gone to the beach.

No...it was just a sand volleyball pit.  It was on our walk to a pond to feed ducks, turtles, and insanely aggressive fish.  There were some teenage girls practicing volleyball on another court, and we stopped to watch.  I'm trying to promote some interest in volleyball with Natalie...still trying to find a good team sport to utilize her height.  I'm not sure if she cared too much about the volleyball, but they both loved the sand.

Jim also took the boys for a little golf practice.  Owen was SO excited to be invited to join the big boys.  Right after that picture was taken he tried to walk off with that golf bag on his back and he fell right over from the weight.  He was NOT happy that we laughed at him.  Well, he was cute, anyway.  Jim had to convince him that it was okay to wear pink, and I think he wore it well.

So we're counting the days until we can use our vacation skills for real!

Mother's Day

Ahhh, Mother's Day.  That day of the year when my regular Sunday grocery trip is hindered by the throngs of fathers, with children in tow, trying valiantly to buy the weekly groceries.  Bless their hearts.  They get in my way.

Some favorite Mother's Day moments from this year:  Being the last person still in bed, awake but listening to Jim herd the children around the house picking up junk.  Then hearing him make breakfast for the kids before heading out to a baseball tournament with Liam.  Priceless.  Much better than the alternative of them making me breakfast in bed, only for me to rise and find the remaining mess in the kitchen.

Second runner-up favorite moment:  Downstairs listening to Natalie and Owen upstairs making a Mother's Day card.  Or, I should say, Natalie making a card and yelling quite a bit at Owen to ensure that he is doing his part properly.  It was a cute card, but from what I could tell "his part" was just signing his name, so the poor boy got an earful of loudly stated advice for just four letters.  Not to mention that his father now wants to refer to him as Damien because the name came out O-M-E-N instead of Owen.  Classic.

The day was mellow, with just a tennis lesson for Natalie, and a baseball tournament for Liam.  I was getting over an illness that made the rounds this week.  I don't like it when I'm sick, and even less when my kids are sick...but...there is the good part of short illnesses.  That part that makes me confident that in those moments when I can hold them close, rub their back, hold back their hair when they vomit, I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing, without a doubt.  Being needed (and wanted).  The thing about motherhood that can be so hard at times, and yet the one thing that makes it all feel completely right.

Nine Years Already

Liam is 9!  How can that be?  It truly seems like just yesterday that I brought home that sweet boy and wrapped him up tight like a swaddled baby burrito.  He still loves to be wrapped up tight and warm like that.  He prefers to sleep inside a sleeping bag on top of his regular bed, like a cocooned caterpillar waiting to emerge as a butterfly.  Except that he also stuffs every stuffed animal and blanket that he owns into the sleeping bag with him.

When I look back at his baby pictures, his blue eyes and sweet smile are the same today.

I love hearing the boy (is he a "tween" now?  He thinks so...) he is becoming, when he discusses serious topics or counsels his siblings in the intricacies of elementary school life.

We often describe Liam as cautious, and in many ways he is.  He takes a while to warm up to some new things, although once he decides he is comfortable with something he is perfectly fine.  He has been a picky eater since starting solid food, but I have noticed a number of recent occasions when he took the initiative on his own to try something new.  We don't always recognize that he does have an adventurous spirit too, and embraces some things with gusto.  Rock climbing is one of those things.  Prior to his birthday party, we had gone only once, and he LOVED it without hesitation.  He asked every day for a week if we could go back (and he doesn't make many requests).

I think he had a great party, and I loved seeing him with such confidence.  I was surprised that many of his friends were intimidated by the walls and the height, and quite cautious.  Liam was my little spider monkey, climbing up so high.  He tackled the swinging ladder with much determination too (I can always tell when I see a picture where his tongue is sticking out that he is concentrating hard), and made it higher than just about anyone else (OK, there just may have been a certain 4 yr old who out climbed them all on the ladder, but I'll leave that for a different post).  Then there was the swing...they did have them "latched" onto the seat with a carabiner hook, but I really don't want to think about what it would have looked like if they fell.  The party helper swung them SO high (see how Liam is completely horizontal), and they swung up so they were almost over the rest of the party kids sitting on bleachers, watching.  Some of the boys didn't want to go at all.  Liam jumped right on, the first one to go, and had such a smile.  (The "party helper" said a parent had to go, so I did it too, and can attest that it was a stomach-dropping ride, especially once they stopped simple swinging and started pulling them up close to the ceiling before letting them drop and swing.)

My brave, adventurous nine year old loves rock climbing, go-kart racing, video games with strategy and fighting, discussing right versus wrong in the big picture of life, baseball, the idea of hunting (do not know yet where he will be able to use the bow & arrows, but he did love it!) and America's Funniest Home Videos.  I regret that sometimes I don't listen enough to Liam, because he is not in my face talking loudly (not mentioning names...).  His true birthday was on Monday, so it was a big anti-climactic.  I decided to give him lots of snuggles and just let him talk after I put the others to bed.  He talked about so many things, hardly taking a breath.  I really need to listen to my quietest boy more often.  At one point I thought he was done talking, there was a very long pause and I knew he was tired, but then he said out of the blue, "So that attack on Pearl Harbor sure must have been a surprise!"  And he was off talking again, spouting facts about how many planes there were, how many ships were sunk, how many people died.  I didn't see that topic coming.  I love that boy!

Many Looks of Owen

The boys got haircuts last weekend, and Owen knew exactly what he wanted.  Make it spiky!  He was SO proud of that hair.  He spent the rest of the day reaching up to gently feel the spikes, making sure they were still in place.  While reading a bedtime story that night I noticed he was attempting to hold his head up so it wouldn't touch the pillow.  Silly boy.  I assured him that Daddy would be able to fix it with gel in the morning.  Jim, after all, had a similar "do" when we first started dating (and yes, he was over 30 at the time...).  I remember my Aunt Nancy called him Jelly Head.  Come to think of it, I kind of miss those gelled spikes.  In any case, Daddy has been excellent at recreating the spikes.

The only thing that has been allowed to crush them was the red cowboy hat for Western Day at preschool.  He borrowed the Sheriff badge from Liam, and wore the hat and the badge the entire day.  Howdy Pardner!

Older and Wiser

Sometimes it feels like I can't get away from my age.  On the one hand there is Owen, introducing me to strangers, "Hi, I'm Owen.  This is my mom.  Her name is Tracy.  She's 43."  I suppose I should teach him to add, "She's a Sagittarius and she likes long walks on the beach," because I do feel like I'm being set up on occasion.  I think I may have even blushed a few times.

On the other hand is Natalie.  She questioned me last week about the date of the school's Family Fun Night (I was on the Decorating Committee).  I told her the date.  She responded, "Ella's mom thought it was a different night.  But I knew you were right (I'm thinking...because I am on the Decorating Committee).  Because you're bigger than her."  Uhh..back up there just a moment.  Say that again.  "You know, you're bigger than her.  She's only in her 30's and you're in your 40's.  So I knew you were right."

Ahhhh, I see.  (Actually I'm terrified at the thought of the Kindergarten class sitting around discussing the age of their mothers.)  I suppose I should be thankful that my advanced age gives me one advantage - that in the eyes of at least Natalie I am by default smarter than all the other mothers.  Sadly, I had to shoot down that theory pretty quick.   "No dear, your logic doesn't work.  You see, Daddy is older than Mommy."  We just can't let that theory grow any roots around here.

Bluebonnets and More

New camera arrived.  Bluebonnets are blooming.  Children are arguing.  The timing is right.

Overall, it went much more smoothly than previous years.  There was relatively little crying and moaning, although still a bit of squinting (it was cloudy and almost ready to rain, so I thought the squinting would be less; perhaps it is).  I also haven't figured out the camera much yet, so I'm just making do with whatever happens on Auto mode.  I like the detail and clarity on the "portrait" pictures of each of them. You can see every detail of that ketchup on the side of Owen's mouth!  ha ha...true

Happy Easter! The kids are off now to eat themselves into a sugar coma with Easter candy as a treat for behaving so nicely during the bluebonnet outing.